The Redneck Pizza Pond, it’s Cooking with Hank

The Redneck Pizza Pond

It’s 2:39 in the morning.

The neighbor’s rooster is confused. The moon looks like a mozzarella ball. You wandered into the kitchen for a glass of water… and somehow ended up fixin’ enough food to feed a bowling league.

Tonight, we’re makin’ Cheesy Pepperoni & Sausage Pizza Dip… or as we call it around here… Pizza You Eat With a Shovel.

What You’ll Need:

1 pound of ground sausage

Olive oil

Cream cheese

Sour cream

Marinara or pizza sauce

A mountain of mozzarella cheese

Mini pepperonis

Garlic powder, 

salt,

pepper, 

and Italian seasoning

A cast iron skillet… because everything tastes better when it weighs 17 pounds.

Hank’s Hillbilly Directions:

First, throw a little olive oil in a skillet and brown up that sausage until it smells so good the dog starts filing visitation rights.

Season it with garlic, salt, pepper, and Italian seasoning. If you sneeze while dumping in the spices… congratulations… it’s authentic.

Drain the grease… or don’t. This is hillbilly cooking, not a health retreat.

Now grab your cream cheese and sour cream and stir ’em together until they’re smoother than Cousin Earl explaining why he “accidentally” bought another fishing boat.

Spread that creamy goodness across the bottom of your cast iron skillet.

Next comes a layer of sausage.

Then pizza sauce.

Then another layer of sausage…

Because one layer just ain’t enough around here.

Now dump on enough mozzarella to make Wisconsin proud. Throw those mini pepperonis on top until it looks like somebody lost a poker game at the pizza parlor.

Slide that masterpiece into a 350-degree oven for about 30 minutes, until the cheese is bubbling like Grandpa’s coffee pot after three cups.

Serving Suggestions:

Serve it with garlic bread, tortilla chips, crackers, toasted bread… or if it’s 2:33 in the morning… just hand everybody a spoon and tell ’em to fend for themselves. 

Hank’s Late-Night Wisdom: 

If somebody asks, “How much cheese is too much?”… kindly escort ’em outta your kitchen. 

Hank’s Official Hillbilly Rating:

Five out of five empty chip bags!

Remember folks… this ain’t called pizza dip because it’s polite… it’s because after one bite, you’ll be dippin’ everything within arm’s reach into it… including your better judgment!