Scrambled Egg Bread Deluxe… If You Can Call It That

“Scrambled Egg Bread Deluxe… If You Can Call It That”

Well now… it’s 3:21 in the mornin’. The rooster called in sick, the cows are wonderin’ why the kitchen light’s on, and you’ve got a hunger that could eat the upholstery out of a bass boat.

Tonight’s five-star hillbilly special is Scrambled Egg Bread Deluxe… because adding “Deluxe” makes it sound like you meant to do this.

Here’s what you’ll need:

2 or 3 eggs. or 5 

A couple slices of bread.

Butter.

Salt and pepper.

A handful of shredded cheese.

And if you’re lucky… that container of cooked bacon hiding in the fridge… or a couple slices of leftover ham that somehow survived yesterday.

Throw the butter in a hot skillet and crack in the eggs. If a little eggshell falls in, just call it “farm fresh texture.

“Before the eggs finish cooking, tear your bread into chunks and toss it in. Don’t cut it with a knife. If you can tear open a bag of deer corn, you can tear bread.

Now chop up that leftover bacon or ham and throw it in the skillet. If it came from the back of the refrigerator, give it the ol’ sniff test. If it doesn’t smell like a science project, it’s fair game.

Stir everything together until the bread soaks up those eggs, then bury the whole thing under a pile of shredded cheese. If the cheese stretches from the skillet to your fork like a tow rope, you’ve done it right.

Serve it with hot sauce, ketchup, or whatever condiment isn’t older than your driver’s license.

There you have it… a 3:21 in the morning feast that’ll fill your belly, confuse your doctor, and have the dog staring at you like he’s hoping you’ll drop a bite.

Now turn off the kitchen light before someone thinks you’re already making breakfast!